Mediums can offer incredible contact with the dead, but many people will exploit this skill for their own gain. Heidi Sawyer, whose gift is genuine, explains how you can find a medium who you can trust with your deepest secrets and also how you can become an amazing psychic yourself.
A definition of a good psychic is often a personal choice. There are some definite traits to look for and some distinct ones to avoid.
Good psychics are realistic and in touch with themselves and reality. It is important to remember there is a difference between a psychic and a medium. Recall that a medium speaks to those who have passed over and attempts to give evidence of life after death. A psychic reads energy from its present position into its future expression. Some people are more than capable of doing both, but tend to have a preferred area. A brilliant psychic can see energy in its current position, and how they can clear it where it is not working for an individual.
A friend of mine is a brilliant psychic. Mediumship is not her preferred area but she is great at that also. We both have a very similar style that works for a lot of people who are interested in self-development, especially spiritual development. I remember watching a specific reading she did for a woman struggling with her weight. In less than five minutes this woman understood something she had never grasped before. My friend was able to give her the psychological specifics of why she was overweight and at what point in her life it had all started. It related back to an argument she had witnessed as a child. The argument was relayed by my friend to this woman, and in remembering its source she burst into tears. Three months later I learned that the woman concerned had lost nearly three stone without dieting. Her eating and exercise habits changed almost overnight with a simple adjustment in her energy field. This is not to say that powerful energy techniques work for everyone, but I have seen the use of energy by psychics within the scope of my friend’s work, my own work and the work of other psychics, allowing for the creation of tremendous adjustments in a person.
Experienced and highly ethical psychics accept that they are not perfect and would not expect you to accept every word they utter. Everyone has free will; psychics can give guidance, often very specific guidance, on areas of a person’s life that they are not yet completely familiar with. This is not to say everything has to turn out in the exact form a psychic has stated. Often a great psychic is reading energy already in motion. This is an energy that has already taken form; some aspects will be part of the individual’s plan, others will be adjustable by free will. Experienced psychics are able to tell the difference between planned energy in motion and aspects a person can choose to change, which are often dependent on an inner adjustment of beliefs or attitudes.
A woman I had known for a while came to see me to ask about how likely it was going to be for her to meet a partner. She had been to see me several times previously asking similar questions. Each time, the guidance I had received for her was to do some specific inner work to shift her perceptions of relationships. With every visit I received more and more information on internal adjustments. But this time was different. I was told she was ready now and that her partner was literally next door. She asked me many questions about what he looked like, his occupation and his possible commitments, but I could not see him clearly. (This is often the case and it is usually a sign that an individual should not go looking for a specific person but rather for a type of person exhibiting the necessary traits.) In her case, though, it was repeated to me that he was next door.
‘I don’t believe you, Heidi,’ she answered. ‘I have been waiting two years now, and I’ve made all the inner changes you suggested. My next-door neighbours are happily married, and the other side is an elderly couple. My partner-to-be certainly does not live next door.’ When she had finished speaking it was repeated to me that he was next door. I told her again, and stated she must be patient as he was coming soon.
Disgruntled, the woman left. I received an excited phone call from her about six months later. She had indeed met a man she was madly in love with, ten years her senior, at a party the couple next door had thrown three months previously. She said, ‘You know what, I almost didn’t go. I had been working late and was exhausted. He’s completely different from what I normally go for. If I’d met him a few years ago, I wouldn’t have been ready for him.’ Today, five years on, they are very happily married.
Many good psychics are in touch with reality and are often very ‘normal’ in looks and attitude. This is often very comforting to people visiting a psychic, as some ideas associated with seers can be alienating. Good psychics are in touch with life, and they have to be. This is because all psychics interpret energy through the filters of their own psyches. If the psyche has a lack of stored information upon which to draw, it is difficult for the psychic to interpret complexities accurately. If there is plenty of knowledge to draw upon, it is much easier for spirits, guides or the higher self to pass a message on.
Good psychics are honest yet kind. They will pass on information that is honest, but they will think about how to deliver an uncomfortable message in a way that you can understand without it causing unnecessary pain. They will think about how to deliver it, depending on the nature of the person receiving. If you are a highly sensitive person or have many fears, they will carefully pass on a message that is life-changing or life- enhancing by using careful language. If you are a person who likes things to be straightforward, they will pass on a challenging message in the way you like to receive it. They will be truthful and honest, detached from any judgement. Poor, average or inexperienced psychics often do not realize that their own issues and judgements get mixed into the pot, and that this can cause them to pass on messages inappropriately.
Many great psychics have an area of expertise. Most of those associated with television programmes are mediums whose speciality is the proof of life after death. Others specialize in helping to find missing persons. For some it’s predictions of the future; for others it will be relationships, past lives, family issues, weight problems, pets or general emotional challenges that need unravelling. There are still other areas not mentioned, including those who are brilliant at explaining the unseen.
When you are choosing a psychic to attend, it is often helpful for you to have an area in your life for which you would like an explanation. Brilliant psychics rarely do ‘general’ readings. Their focus will be on a specific area, and they are not interested in proving themselves to you. Often you will also find that they charge a decent amount per hour or for half an hour of their time. This is not because they are ‘rip-off merchants’, as some may suggest, but because they earn a living from their skill. Often, how confident they are with their skill is reflected in their fees. Most brilliant psychics will give an outline of their services and ask why you desire their service. This is not to gain a huge amount of information from you that they can recite back as a ‘message’ but to gauge whether they can help you and to use your time together productively. Generally they will not be able to fix your life; they can only help you to formulate a plan based on aspects of your unconscious and the general ‘fated’ parts which were put in place before you were born.
Maybe this will help: you could compare a brilliant psychic with a financial advisor. A financial advisor would ask questions to see what it is you would like to invest and to see if you are ready. You would not go to a financial advisor with quite a lot of money to invest or when you were flat broke and wanted to find a way of getting out of debt. At the very least, you would go because you wanted advice, and you would be prepared to act on that advice to change your financial position. You could either take everything the financial advisor suggests or choose the parts that work for you and shelve the rest. If the advisor has a fantastic reputation for getting much of it right, you would perhaps be more inclined to take what they say and act upon it.
Similar to the below-average financial advisor, below- average psychics (verging on the deceitful) would be inclined to promise the earth, giving very general information when you are referring to specifics, or claiming areas of energy when there aren’t any to read. They will also lack a good reputation and will state a rate that suits you or will allow you to barter. They will also accept people who are defensive and want to see a psychic for a bit of fun. This is because they do not take their skill seriously enough, or perhaps they think it is an easy way to earn money. I do not know a brilliant psychic who will accept rudeness or disrespect for their craft. They will not defend themselves or become argumentative; they will simply say they are not suitable for what the ‘client’ requires.
Brilliant psychics are often quite a challenge to find, usually because they are very busy or generally keep a low profile. Although they can be hard to locate, there are a few rules that help you to find one.
Personal recommendation has to be the number-one way to find a brilliant psychic. It is also the best way for you to become a client. Brilliant psychics usually have a limited amount of time available and often only take on new clients based on recommendations from clients they already know. If a chosen psychic works well for a friend of yours, then he or she is likely to work well for you. This is because in order for you to be friends with a person you are going to have to share similar energetic vibrations; therefore, you are most likely suitable for the psychic to read, too.
If a personal recommendation is not possible, then choose a psychic by reputation within an area you would like help with. Go for a psychic whose area of expertise is generally in the direction of what you would like to know about. If they cannot help, brilliant psychics will, if they can, recommend you to someone more appropriate for your specific needs.
Websites and forums are good places to look. On many forums discussing psychic matters you will find recommendations for good psychics. With regard to choosing psychics from websites, go with your instinct. If your instinct says they will be great for you, then it is likely they will be. If your chosen psychic proves a disappointment, it is worth your while to review just what it was that you felt drawn to, and ask yourself if you were responding to something superficial, wishful or insincere.
Exhibitions such as mind–body–soul or –spirit events that are sponsored by strongly established organizations will have many excellent psychics in attendance. This is because they are costly to take part in, so only established, confident psychics can comfortably afford to be at such shows. These are different from psychic fairs, which I do not particularly recommend for finding brilliant psychics. If you are generally happy with receiving a reading from someone just starting out, then sometimes you can come across a gem at a psychic fair.
Remember, at any of these types of events, go with your instinct. If there is someone there who you feel is going to be helpful to you, it’s likely he or she will be.
There are many people in this world who are naturally very gifted with psychic and mediumship skills. Their gifts may have started spontaneously or be an inherited trait, while for others it is something that has developed over time. A natural skill has its limitations. This is because without strong self-development psychics will generally project their own views, beliefs, limitations and opinions on the information they receive. This does not affect a medium quite so much, since their focus is on proof of afterlife and forwarding messages as they are given.
On many occasions I have witnessed someone with a natural but unchecked talent upsetting people. This generally arises when the psychic practises his or her skills before they are completely developed. One such vivid occasion occurred when a woman with the ability to read energy began to give another woman a reading. The sitter (the person receiving the psychic reading) offered the reader a piece of her jewellery to read. The reader began to receive some very accurate information regarding the sitter’s mother, including her character traits, her beliefs and fears, and the sitter’s frustrations with her mother. This was all correct information. The reader then became overly confident in her ability to read energy. That was when it all began to go wrong.
The reader started to project her own opinions onto the reading. She said the sitter must behave in a way her mother could accept. She told the sitter how she had lost her own mother without getting a chance to talk to her properly, so the sitter should take the time to say how she was feeling. She then told the sitter her mother was going to die.
Telling a person someone is going to die is highly unprofessional, however true it might be. Such information should be passed on only if asked for and the reader is certain it is appropriate for the sitter. In this case, it was not appropriate. The reader, although cautioned, continued to project her reality onto that of the sitter. The sitter would have found information on how to deal with her mother’s character much more helpful. She certainly did not need an inaccurate prediction of her mother’s demise. This is not responsible in my view, but I have seen it occur many times in people who have a natural skill but have not taken the time first to develop the ‘self’.
In order to become an outstanding psychic, then, natural talent is not enough. It is imperative you engage in intensive self- development to conquer any imbalance and to understand your strengths and, even more importantly, your limitations. You must know when to refer something or someone on. Some psychics get very mixed up, believing the information they pass on is without question perfect, and they believe any healing they give is completely accurate. They can get very caught up in their own perceptions and how they have dealt with a similar situation in the past, thereby forgetting how to view it from the perspective of the person they are reading for at that moment.
Brilliant psychics recognize immediately when there is a temptation to do this. They will infuse their way of looking at a situation with open thinking and be able to interpret based on the sitter’s reality. They can give the person 100 per cent of their attention when with them, but be able to detach from the outcome of their advice and from the energy of the sitter once he or she has left, no matter how traumatizing the person’s story.
The question is, how do you do this?
Self-development involves working on the mental aspects of the self, the beliefs structured from childhood experience and life events. It is the process of looking at the ‘shadow-self’ in order to improve old and outdated beliefs that no longer work or that reflect a reality that is no longer true. It consists of restructuring fear and becoming more aware of how you operate in life. You become able to recognize old behaviour patterns, and you use the opportunity to learn from them. For most people who are new to self-development, knowing what makes you tick is the tricky part and takes much reflection.
Self-development really means becoming aware of who you are and how you think, feel and react, and then taking those features that are based on fear or the ego’s need for power and control and changing them into a more wholesome stance that is compatible with others who may feel the same way. It involves realizing that you can change aspects of the self, or inherited behaviours, if you want to. It involves learning new skills for interacting with the world in a way that produces the best results for yourself and for others. Self-development means discarding the excuse ‘you can’t teach an old dog new tricks’ (and its cousin, ‘you can’t teach a new dog old tricks’) – for you certainly can if the dog really wants to learn! Anything can be changed if a person is willing to trust him- or herself and work on it.
Finally, self-development is about bringing aspects of the unconscious mind into the conscious everyday mind, then using various techniques to make it a long-lasting change. It is a linear process that works very well for the logical mind. However, being linear, it is often slow and doesn’t necessarily address core issues. Often, people can see where something comes from but feel powerless to change it.
The process of becoming self-aware, however, is an absolutely essential part of becoming a brilliant psychic. It’s like kneading dough to make bread. The ‘shadow-self’ requires much work in order for a person to become accepting of the self or to recognize areas that are not their strong points. This ‘working’ also develops strong empathy without the need to ‘save’ another person (what is called ‘non-possessive empathy’), and it develops the ability to listen without judgement. All training therapists, from counsellors to psychotherapists, are required to receive therapy themselves for a period of time before they can possibly qualify to counsel others. However, this is not to say self- development is completely fireproof. As with all other aspects of life, self-development carries certain risks, and one risk is the possibility of failure.
It is a shame most people do not seek to change something unless ‘what is’ becomes unbearable. Many people do not seek to develop themselves until a crisis is upon them and they realize that they absolutely need some assistance in order to move past it. Self-development is not just for a crisis; it is an important part of life. It helps to create inner satisfaction and joy in life by tackling the shadow-self most people spend their entire life trying to hide from.
There are many methods of self-development. A starting point I always recommend is to use a notebook. This notebook is for observing your thoughts and feelings over a period of time, like a week or a month. This helps you to establish what some of your less obvious core beliefs are. Any form of addiction is a great place to start, although for some people the process of even accepting an addictive behaviour can be challenging. Behind most compulsive or addictive behaviours will be an unhappy feeling operating within the shadow-self. Examples can be anything from the obvious, such as alcohol, smoking or drugs, to overspending, overeating, under-eating, underspending, lack of commitment to the self and others, or staying in a relationship that doesn’t work. Many of these behaviours will be rooted in a person’s sense of self-worth. We all have shadow parts that could use an overhaul. Being perfect would keep us from being human, so having a look at parts of the self that need a bit of work helps you to understand what makes you tick. Knowing yourself is one of the key starting points of developing any aspect of psychic or intuitive awareness.
The second key aspect of self-development for psychic development is to look at what you are frightened of. This can be anything from fear of the dark to fear of relationships. Looking at what you put off and procrastinate over will also reveal the fear factors behind them, some of which are as yet unacknowledged.
The third key aspect of self-development for psychic development is to go to a large bookshop when you have plenty of time, preferably a couple of hours. Go to the section for popular psychology or self-help. Browse through this section and pick out books that ‘speak’ to you. Flip through them and buy the ones that feel to you as though they have something for you. If you find yourself resisting going to the bookshop, or you can’t find the time, look within for an unexplained fear.
There are some very popular methods of self-development that work for individuals the world over: these include neuro- linguistic programming (NLP), motivational speaking, hypnosis, psychotherapy and many others. I have always had a strong desire to read books and to soak up as many different ways of thinking as I possibly can. My idea of a fun day out is going to a large bookshop with loads of self-development books. Browsing though these types of books, looking for what you are drawn to, will help you to gain a fabulous understanding of this huge arena.
Self-development for psychic development really stops there, and spiritual development then becomes a necessity.
Spiritual development is the strongest form of self-improvement towards inner peace and happiness that I have ever seen. Spiritual development involves developing aspects of the psyche from its core. This is most certainly the key to becoming a brilliant psychic.
Spiritual development involves the return of the self to the core aspect of perfection. In our purest form, we are all perfect. The way I look at it, our centre is a bright light beam. Through our lifetime the light beam gets covered up with emotional experiences that leave a negative imprint. These imprints are mixed with the personality and stick to a person depending on how they interpret their experience of the world. Underneath remains the perfect light beam. Spiritual development allows a person to realize that they are this brilliant beam of light and that the muck gathered on top is only temporary. Once we realize this, we then know that the muck on top can be released, as the shining beam radiates through to reveal itself in our eyes. This is why some people look so alive; it is in their eyes.
Sure, if not cleared enough, the muck will build up again, but once a person has experienced spiritual development it becomes a path that is impossible to leave.
Spiritual development is achieved through methods using energy vibrations and frequencies to invoke a release of energy within a person’s system that has, until that moment, deepened an untruth. That untruth can be anything from believing you have no confidence to the idea you can’t do something. By clearing the muck on top of the metaphorical light beam, a psychic, medium and/or healer will develop abilities beyond imagining. Where previously they have experienced fear or limitation, they perhaps have become stuck. Once ‘unstuck’, an explosion of development will occur. This explosion will often depend on the person, group or organization leading the exercise. This is because spiritual development is associated with energetic frequencies, so are unique to each individual.
Spiritual development for the beginner involves group work on a regular basis, or directed work from an auditory kit such as a CD or MP3 download. It effects lasting change within a relatively short period of time. Someone once described my particular methods as ‘ten years’ worth of psychotherapy in ten minutes’. Once a person is willing to enter into the process of spiritual development, a strong inner confidence and peace prevail.
Spiritual development is achieved through guided meditation designed to go into a very deep part of the self and the ‘universal consciousness’, sometimes described as God or the life source. In most spiritual development designed to assist with psychic development, God or the life source is seen as an energy that connects everything. That energy is the light beam at the core of every person. Some have chosen within their lifetime to tread a life devoid of emotion and morals. This might be due to environmental influences. Sometimes such unsavoury characters can, in spite of themselves, help others to develop in a positive way. Their anti-social behaviours can actually help a person to resolve differences they were not prepared to face previously. Spiritual development helps a person within such circumstances to ‘let go and let be’. However, spiritual development is not to be confused with forgiving a person for wrongs; it is releasing the self from the pain such wrongs create, which can eventually develop into ill health after a lifetime of stress.
How quickly an individual develops both spiritually and on a psychic level depends entirely on the person. You may say, ‘Well, I want to develop quickly and be able to do X by the end of next week.’ For some that is a reality; for others it takes much longer. A long time does not mean a person isn’t getting anywhere. One woman I know has been to see me for years. Her childhood background was heavily traumatized. Her parents died when she was young, and her formative years were spent in an environment like something in a gothic novel. She lived with an alcoholic uncle and mentally ill aunt who took her inheritance to finance a lavish lifestyle while making the life of the little girl hell.
Not surprisingly, she grew into an alcohol-dependent and very frightened adult, but she also possessed amazing music and singing skills. Over the years I have seen this woman work very hard on herself through spiritual development. She has trusted what I have received and passed on to her, but essentially she has done all the work herself. Of course she is not perfect, but I have to say that she is much nearer perfect than the average individual, for the light of this woman shines brightly. I am immensely proud of her achievements and truly amazed at the tenacity of the human spirit she embodies.
How quickly you will develop your psychic ability or work through the shadow-self and your spiritual development can be assessed using the analogy of how you clean your cupboards out. You have a cupboard full of stuff you haven’t looked at for six months or more. Deciding to have a clear-out, are you the type who will look into the cupboard and say, ‘No time now, I’ll deal with that later.’? Do you take all the stuff out of the cupboard, spend hours going through it and neatly put back three-quarters ‘in case I need it later’? Or do you open the cupboard and say, ‘I haven’t looked at that in at least six months, so I’m unlikely to need anything in there. I don’t need to look through it; I know there are no important documents because I keep those elsewhere. I will put the whole lot in the bin.’?
Whichever style you are will reflect how you deal with aspects of the psyche that no longer serve you. If are prepared to sweep things clean without holding on to anything, you will develop very, very quickly on both a spiritual and psychic level. If you put three-quarters of the stuff back, you are going to need to work on learning to trust that clearing something out which you no longer need does not make you less of a person. It makes room for new things, new ideas and the formation of great new beginnings. If you leave the junk in the cupboard, it will take you a long time to develop your psychic gifts, and you will be at risk if you try to use them for other people before you are ready.
Having said all this, spiritual development is a very pleasant journey that can help anyone. For the budding brilliant psychic, it helps you to return to the light beam at your centre, build the ‘light body’ and access areas of your psyche and the universal consciousness you only ever dreamed of. Spiritual development means a much easier life. Instead of going against the tide you relax into the flow, following the river of life comfortably downstream. Every so often you may hit the odd bump, but generally the flow of the river keeps you moving smoothly along. Everyone else seems to be clambering up the banks or swimming against the tide. Only when they become too tired and give in do they then let go enough to flow with the river. That’s why when you are looking for something or are desperately attached to an outcome, it doesn’t seem to happen for you. The moment you let go and let be, it all comes at once. Imagine what life would be if you did this every day!
'How do I find a medium?' is an edited extract from
The Intelligent Guide to the Sixth Sense
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How Do I Find a Medium? features in Hay House's free ebook,
An Introduction to Mediumship
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